Friday, February 5, 2010


So its been about one month since I started my blog and I wanted to take a second and recap.  I started this blog on Christmas day when I suddenly got the idea with a flash of energy.  This is how most of my motivation comes.  I am do nothing and then I decide that I want more of something in my life and I come up with an amazing idea that I start and never finish.  Well this time I got farther then normal.  I am really committed to doing this blog, but the reason I started it is not being fullfilled.
I started this blog to find myself and to really live my life, but that is not what I am doing.  I feel like I need to explain myself a little better so that everyone has a clear picture of who I am .
I am motivated in mind but not by action.  I dream big but do not fullfill.  Do I think am lazy?  No, I do a lot.  I work at least 45 hours a week.  I take care of my kids and try to be the best mom and wife that I can be, but there is so much missing.  I aspire to be so much more, to do so much more.  That is why so many things on my list are so simple.  I am always saying that I am going to do something and never follow through.  Simple things like doing crafts with the kids will get replaced with a movie so it gives me time to relax.  I say that I am going to lose the weight, but here I am three years later still over weight and doing nothing about it.  These are all things that I feel will help me really live.  My mind gets so foggy sometimes and I feel lost.  I want to wake up and live the life that I have always imagined.  I started by saying that when I win the Powerball I will do this and I will do that.  This is when I relized that many of the things that I wanted to do I could be doing.  This is why this last month is still me just doing the motions but not really feeling the change.  Don't get me wrong I did do many things but I am not changing my life.
This month I am going to try harder to achieve my goals and make it a life changing month.  I want to see myself get more motivated and feel like I matter.  I will be starting with some things from my list that will help me get there.  This month I am going to get organized, we are going to stick with our chour chart, we will start eating healthy and working out regularly.  I will go to church every week and do my meditations.  All this I feel will be a huge step in getting my mind clear and focused.
Wish me luck, here I go on my next adventure.

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